Author: Anaya Rawat, Class VIII D
Disclaimer: The contents of this submission are intended purely for entertainment and not to offend. The characters are portrayed in a humorous manner and are not meant to convey hate or negativity.
What If Instagram Existed Before Instagram Existed?
What if, the most looked up to and the bravest ruler the Mauryan Dynasty has seen, King Ashoka, had Instagram?
If Ashoka had Instagram, he would own the algorithm. A couple million followers minimum. Verified within five minutes. Fan pages everywhere. Because let’s be honest, Indian history does not shut up about him.
His early posts? Extremely problematic in hindsight. One of his most infamous posts would be pre-enlightenment Ashoka posing in front of the battlefield of Kalinga. Armour on. Smirk ready. Caption something like: “Won. Again.” In the background, there’s a horse bleeding out but still perfectly framed because even in 261 BCE, everyone wanted their 5 minutes of fame.
Ashoka sees the aftermath. Suddenly the next post drops and everyone is confused. He is seen in a temple in front of Lord Buddha’s statue. No caption. Comments turned off. People are concerned. Then his bio changes.
Now, fast forward at least some months ahead and boom, we are seeing those edicts that he got carved into the rocks and these messages are actually making half of the kingdom rethink their life choices because they’re doing absolutely nothing correct.
And unlike modern influencers yelling “RUN DON’T WALK FOR THIS PRODUCT”, Ashoka is out here saying “Stop. Reflect. Be better.”
His hashtag? Obviously #ViralSince250BC.
His most-liked post is a thread on righteous governance. Fifty follow-up posts. Comment section flooded with: “Devanampiya Piyadasi ” Beloved of the Gods. Beloved of the algorithm.
Ashoka isn’t just carved into stone anymore. He’s trending. Constantly. Still the most-followed account on Instagram.
Now fast-forward a few thousand years. Add chaos. Add activism. Add it-girl freedom fighter energy. What if Mahatma Gandhi had Instagram? Oh boy.
First post, Gandhi standing on an elevated platform, finger pointed at a massive crowd captioned “Listen.” Instant virality.
Then Champaran 1917 content drops. Gandhi with indigo farmers. Sunglasses on. Posing like it’s an album cover called Colonialism (Deluxe Version).
His edits are wild. British officials appear, except their faces are blurred, warped and zoomed in at terrible angles. Pure cyberbullying, but historically justified. The feed is 90% protests, 10% side-eye. Non-Cooperation Movement reels everywhere. Gandhi staring directly into the camera while British officers get physically pushed out of frame.
The most-liked post? The Dandi March. Slow-mo footsteps. Salt in hand. Wind blowing the dhoti just right. Caption: “Aesthetic ways to make salt at home ”
There’s also a photo with Winston Churchill captioned “I’ll be on the Indian rupee. Now who’s the middle temple lawyer??”
He obviously posted not just fun, but also about non-violence which clearly didn’t affect the Britishers a bit. He also has a pinned selfie with Jawaharlal Nehru, which the crowd absolutely adores. (Ship edits incoming.)
Gandhi also has millions of followers and his digital persona revolves around a single hashtag, “#BapuCool.”
